Facing challenges head on is not something new for elite para dressage rider, Kylie Christian. However, last year truly put Kylie to the test in her 2024 Paralympic bid as she put everything on the line in her pursuit for Paris. A wife, a mother and advocate for Parkinson’s awareness, Kylie’s story is one of persistence and grit, showing that often we’re stronger than we believe. Sometimes, we just need the time to find our secret power – and for Kylie, this came in the form of a very special horse.

“Only my husband Paul, my family and a few close friends truly understand how much last year’s Olympic bid cost me. It tested me emotionally, financially and deeply shook my self-esteem. However, retrospect is an amazing thing, and now with a year past I am finally able to see that if nothing else, it has made me stronger.

As a rider with Parkinson’s, simply finding the right horse is a challenge in itself. The horse must meet both the physical demands of the sport and the unique needs of my disability. Despite months searching, heartbreak followed heartbreak as promising sales fell through and the horse I finally secured in Europe was injured.

What many don’t see about the Olympic dream is just how much rides on a single moment. The window is narrow, and the stakes are high. That pressure meant I had to make an impossible decision: to leave my critically ill father, who was in a coma, in the hope of a successful international campaign.

I held onto the belief I’d see my dad when I returned home, tell him I made the team and place a medal in his hands. In the end I couldn’t say any of that to him and I returned home with nothing. There are no words for that kind of grief.

My horse would arrive later.

I first rode Ivan in January 2022 at the Stal Brouwer Stables in the Netherlands. He is a big, jet-black gelding that complements my own stature – as someone who is six-foot-tall, this is important to me.

Ivan is beautifully educated, giving me the opportunity to push the envelope and train higher than I’m competing. It takes many long years of outings and exposure to get a horse to this standard, and it was this experience I was after when looking overseas for a horse.

Temperament is paramount. With Parkinsons, things only continue to become harder. I needed to find a horse with impeccable manners – and I did. Ivan is as placid as he is beautiful.

Because Parkinsons is progressive, it doesn’t pounce on you. It stalks you.

Kylie Christian riding Ivan in Europe

I’m not sure when the dystonia started. After my failed campaign, I found myself swaying and twisting uncontrollably. I think as it gradually worsened, I kept adjusting without even realising. It wasn’t until I watched videos of myself early in 2024 that I saw I’d been showing signs of it back then.

After everything – my failed campaign, my father’s injury, Ivan’s injury and the relentless pressure I put on myself, the disease had gotten out of control. My disability became unmistakable. I was unable to get myself home from Europe without carers, a wheelchair and a cane.

My return to Australia saw me despairing of this life. As someone who takes great pride in presentation and appearance, I became self-conscious of the dystonia around friends and family. It was deeply embarrassing and upsetting.

I remember saying to my husband, Paul, to book in the Deep Brain Stimulation (DBS) surgery. I wasn’t scared. I was ready. I couldn’t live in my body the way it was for another second. That said, it took a few months to complete all the tests required before having the operation.

During this time, Ivan recovered from his injury and arrived in Australia late in November 2024. He walked off the truck like he’d been here forever.

I had the DBS surgery in December, and the timing was perfect. I wasn’t allowed to ride for three months after the procedure, which gave Ivan time to settle into his new life before commencing training.

Kylie Christian wearing 18ct Rose Gold Horse Bit Tahitian Pearl Earrings and 18ct Rose Gold Tahitian Pearl Earrings

My recovery was a process of clawing my old life back. This horse was the motivation to get me out of bed each day. This horse allowed me to see a new future.

I loved all parts of owning Ivan, and he made me really appreciate all the little things I once took for granted. Mucking out his stable was painful and difficult, but until you lose the ability to perform these small, mundane tasks, you don’t appreciate how much they contribute to the joy of what you do.

Needing help made me bitter, but this gave me a sense of having my daily routine back. Perhaps not quite like before, but these jobs and this horse were back. And they were mine.

Ivan was everything. We trained every day and got used to each other’s company. Returning to the saddle – with such a special horse and Los Angeles already on my mind, was the only reason I recovered like I did.

As much as it sometimes feels the universe wants me to give up, as much as it seems life would have me rocking back and forth in the corner – I have this secret power. I have this horse. Ivan is on my side.

I aim for the future to give us a couple of World Games. A couple of Paralympics together.

But more importantly, all this time ‘on the ground’ with Ivan has resulted in a bond I cannot explain. So, whatever the future gives us, I know I have my best mate looking after me out there. And if the future takes us no further than the front gate in St Andrews, Victoria. Then I’m fine with that. I’m still smiling.”